Date: 2004-02-17, 10:01AM PST
RANTS:
1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it's the fucking deed to Trump Towers... what the fuck do you want me to do, grow another pussy?? It's a fuckin' dollar, put it down on the tiprail already.
2) Men that come into the club for a lapdance with NO underwear or boxers and thin-ass, nylon shorts, so we slip and slide on your hard-on (which always feel like a sharpie pen). Ew! I don't even bother dancing with you nasty fucks anymore.
3) You with the thick-ass jeans--this was an impromptu visit, eh?
4) Don't pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if that felt good. It does NOT FEEL GOOD.
5) Hey you loser, counting all your bills to me after the dance, all $20 in ones, and rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you.
6) No I will not let you just "slip it in real quick" for 50 more bucks. If you're going to proposition me, at least don't insult my worth.
7) Stop asking me if my tits are real. There are as real as my affection for you.
8) If you cum in your pants, you have to tip me an extra $100 for being a lame-ass who can cum from just a lapdance.
9) Stop asking me out. You're a smelly, fat loser and the only reason I'm smiling and cooing at you is because I want your money. Outside of the club I wouldn't even fart your way.
10) Stop bitching at me about the goddamn two drink minimum. First of all your breath stinks, you have a piece of salami stuck to your goat-tee and you look like Jay Leno. Secondly, I don't give a shit.
11) Don't bitch at me about the $8 non-alchoholic beer either. Hide a bottle of Jack in your coat pocket next time like everyone else does.
12) My horniness is in direct proportion to your income.
13) No, you CAN'T SMOKE. Dumb. Ass.
14) Boys, don't sit in the front row with your homeboys and act all engrossed in some deep conversation (knowing damn well you ain't talking 'bout shit) during a girls performance because you want to look like you're too "cool" to notice the hot, naked girl in front of you.
15) DON'T SIT IN THE FRONT ROW IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TIP. Fer chrissakes!!!!!!!!!!!
16) Dumb ass, don't ask me, "so what do you guys do when you're on your period?" Answer: I lap dance only with guys in dark pants.
17) STOP trying to grab my tits!!!!!!!!! That's extra.
18) SHOWER FIRST, you nasty fuck!
19) If you don't tip me, I'm going to call your wife.
20) I had a feeling you weren't going to tip me, so I took extra care to rub my lip gloss on your collar and wear extra glitter lotion before our dance.
21) Hey cheap-asses: please don't come to my work. Just stay home and jack off to reruns of "I love Genie" instead. It will save us a both a lot of unpleasantry.
22) Stop asking me why I do this job and get all analytical on me. For the MONEY you moron, that's why. Duh.
23) No seriously, my real name is Vixen Blue.
24) NO, I will not take a dime sac of weed for payment. I can tell it's oregano anyway you sick mutherfucker!
25) Sorry, I don't do that. Ask the ugly girl with the overbite and the black roots over there by the bar.
26) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay.
27) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the fucking maxi-single to me.
28) Yes I will fuck you, but only for 10 grand. More if you're ugly. So basically, more.
29) DO NOT come into the club looking for a girlfriend/date. DO. NOT.
30) I don't care if you're cute and/or Brad Pitt's stunt double. I do not give free lapdances. Cute don't pay the rent.
31) Girls--what's with the pole smell? Can we do a little hygiene check? Nothing than worse than twirling around a pole and getting a whiff of stale pussy.
32) Girls--stop lip-syncing to the song you're dancing to on stage. Especially if you don't quite know all the words.
33) Girls--if your toes curl and hang over your platforms a la' Fred Flinstone, you need to go up a size.
34) Girls--drowning yourself in Angel perfume is just as bad if not worse than the BO you're trying to cover.
35) Hey DJ! You suck!
36) Girls--may I suggest complete sobriety before getting tatted up? Tattoos should be meaningful, or at least semi-meaningful, or at least semi semi-meaningful. That fucking smurf on your ass is lame.
37) Girls--some songs should not be stripped to. Please. No Disney soundtracks (you know who you are), Sade, Bjork, or Aaron Carter. PLEASE.
Thanks for listening.
Vixen Blue
Found at: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/24568433.html
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Free lesson on common courtesy
Date: 2012-05-12, 3:56PM EDT
Reply to: nw4tg-3011808572@sale.craigslist.org
Hello Good People of Craigslist,
If someone allows you to come to their home to purchase an item, you should stop to use the restroom before you get there. Remember that no matter how nice you are, you are still a stranger. So unless your 5 years old hold it or make a pit stop before you get there. If you are not allowed into a persons home to go potty, don't get mad at them because YOU ARE the inconsiderate jerk for asking. This rule does not apply to children of coarse. That ones free.
Location: everywhere
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/zip/3011808572.html
Reply to: nw4tg-3011808572@sale.craigslist.org
Hello Good People of Craigslist,
If someone allows you to come to their home to purchase an item, you should stop to use the restroom before you get there. Remember that no matter how nice you are, you are still a stranger. So unless your 5 years old hold it or make a pit stop before you get there. If you are not allowed into a persons home to go potty, don't get mad at them because YOU ARE the inconsiderate jerk for asking. This rule does not apply to children of coarse. That ones free.
Location: everywhere
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/zip/3011808572.html
Thursday, February 16, 2012
a Baby Fetish - m4w - 29
Date: 2012-02-16, 3:28PM CST
Reply to: g7pm4-2855019287@pers.craigslist.org
I am seeking the Fat women to treat me like a Baby, Yes i said Baby. I want to be bottle fed, diapered, spanked, fed Eggs. Forced on my hands n knees to crawl while im sucking on a pacifier. you can tie me to a chair or hand cuff me behind my back, i dont care just make me eat eggs. now you can just make cooked egg yolks.
cooked egg yolks - seperate the yolk from the white , place yolks in non-stick pan or electric skillet, take 1 cup of water pour into pan or skillet, medium or high heat and cover with pan lid or skillet cover and just watch egg yolk expand . I will not eat baby food and don't think your gonna get down my throat
I will buy the baby bottles, pacifiers, baby lotion and Diapers and a added bonus i will be paying you $150 Cash , but you must host. because i have 2 roomates that work from home and thier always around
Location: Plano/Richardson
Found at: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cas/2855019287.html
Reply to: g7pm4-2855019287@pers.craigslist.org
I am seeking the Fat women to treat me like a Baby, Yes i said Baby. I want to be bottle fed, diapered, spanked, fed Eggs. Forced on my hands n knees to crawl while im sucking on a pacifier. you can tie me to a chair or hand cuff me behind my back, i dont care just make me eat eggs. now you can just make cooked egg yolks.
cooked egg yolks - seperate the yolk from the white , place yolks in non-stick pan or electric skillet, take 1 cup of water pour into pan or skillet, medium or high heat and cover with pan lid or skillet cover and just watch egg yolk expand . I will not eat baby food and don't think your gonna get down my throat
I will buy the baby bottles, pacifiers, baby lotion and Diapers and a added bonus i will be paying you $150 Cash , but you must host. because i have 2 roomates that work from home and thier always around
Location: Plano/Richardson
Found at: http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cas/2855019287.html
Trucker seeks traveling lot lizard - m4w - 48
Date: 2012-02-16, 7:47AM EST
Reply to: wtj9q-2854118870@pers.craigslist.org
Theres lots of money to be made out there, I gota new rig with two big beds, lets make money
Location: Georgia
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cas/2854118870.html
Reply to: wtj9q-2854118870@pers.craigslist.org
Theres lots of money to be made out there, I gota new rig with two big beds, lets make money
Location: Georgia
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cas/2854118870.html
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Just fucking fuck me, already.
Date: 2008-02-03, 3:29PM PST
Dear Men of Craigslist,
Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.
But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We've done dinner and drinks. We've gone dancing. We've cuddled and watched a movie. I'm wearing a low cut shirt and you've been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me.
When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I'm not going to just lie still - I'll get involved. But don't make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a rapist. We've been kissing for a half hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That's nice, but it's time to move forward. Get on top of me. Don't make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I'm practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won't go down on me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. Don't gently suck my nipples and then pull back when I moan with pleasure. You being coy is totally not what I want. It's not what WE want.
OK, I know it's scary. There are lots of women out there who make fucking really difficult. So, I have compiled some handy tips. Don't think of this as complaining, or as schadenfreude for the Andrea Dworkins of the world. Just some simple tips, for timid men who have forgotten what it means to fuck like men:
1. Taking charge is not bad. Oh, there will be some women who feel that you are pushy. If you are making out with a woman, and she starts to push back, ask nicely if things are moving too fast. If she says yes, say something like "I'm sorry - you just look so fucking delicious. I'll go slower." Otherwise, skillfully move forward. If you start kissing a woman, and she responds well, and before long, you're both on the floor with her skirt pushed up, and you on top of her, it's not the time to roll onto your back and start awkwardly stroking the top of her head. Seriously, grow a goddamn pair. YOU'RE the man. Act like one.
2. Ohmyfuckinggod, please learn to respect the clit. It's different for every woman, so ask what she likes. Do not, I repeat, do not just wiggle your fingers around her pussy like you're trying to tickle her. Do not drum your fingertips against her vulva like you are impatiently waiting at the Sears Tire Center for your receipt. Do not push the clit like it is a doorbell at some house that you need to get inside of. Start by using all four fingers with firm yet gentle pressure against the outside of her pussy. Do not charge in with a single finger and start jabbing at things. And if you really don't know what to do, ask her. Just ask. "How do you like it?". It's a simple question, and most women will answer straight out. If she's being all coy, ask "Do you like pressure? Is it sensitive?" The clitoris is a varied item, indeed. Treat each one as though you have never encountered one before. Forget everything that your last partner liked.
3. Most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Yes, there are women out there who want to "make love" every time - sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it's not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you're mixing a cake batter up there. It's because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Don't be too afraid of what this means as far as gender equality goes - I am a raging feminist bitch, but I still want to be penetrated like you are planning on fucking my throat from the inside out.
4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some women like their hair pulled. Do not act shocked if she wants you to spank her ("Really? Spanking? Won't it hurt?" - yes, it does. That's the fucking point). We know you've read Stuff and Maxim, and that's all those laddie mags talk about in their "How to Please Her" sections. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that she sits on. Judge her response and continue on from there. You don't have to bend her over one knee and tell her she's a naughty girl and that Daddy's going to punish her; save that for the fifth date. Women are less delicate than you think, so don't worry about breaking her hip.
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you're banging a woman, and she's crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can't even manage a grunt, she's going to feel like an idiot. You don't have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING. You know how when you are watching porn, and the girl does something great to the guy and the guy kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against her neck when you're in missionary position. You don't have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, she's going to get worried.
6. Most women like dirty talk, in addition to the grunting. If you'd like to get some dirty talk going, ask her if she likes the way you fuck her. If she responds well, continue with something like, "I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot." Is she still moaning in response? "Your tits are so beautiful." Does that work? If she doesn't respond well to the term "tits", you might have to stop there. If she keep moaning or responding, pass Go and collect $200. Try the following:
"Oh, god. Your pussy is SO tight."
"You're so wet - are you wet because you like the feel of my cock ramming you?"
"I think I'm going to come inside you. I'm going to fill up your little cunt." It doesn't matter that you're wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.
If all of those work, you can then progress to things like "sexy little bitch" and "dirty whore". Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge.
6. You're not obligated to eat a woman out. In return, she's not obligated to choke on your dick. Don't skip one and expect the other. If you do eat a woman out, the only comment you should make about her pussy is how nice it is. The length of her labia minora, the color of her interior, her waxing job or full bush - you are not John Madden. No time for color commentary.
7. Do not bitch about condoms. Oh, we hate them. Trust us. They hurt us more than they hurt you. But we don't want to be preggers, and you don't want to catch anything, right? Don't whine about condom sex. Do not explain that you can't come with one on. LEARN to come with one on, or if not, help us figure out what to do with you once we're satisfied and it's time for you to let loose your load.
8. We really like it when you come. It's called a money shot for a reason. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. She might, but don't assume. Seeing and/or feeling you come is rewarding for us, so there's no need to deprive us of it, but please do consult us before unleashing. "I think I'm going to come - how do you like it?" is a fair question that shouldn't rob you of your testicles.
In recent memory, I've been fucked by a very aggressive, manly guy, and I've been... well, fucked is the wrong term here. I've been penetrated by a total and utter wuss. Who am I going to run back to when I'm ready for my fill? Manly McHardon, that's who. ----------------------------------------------------
*New point of clarification - some people have brought up some really great issues in response to this post, so let me say this: I don't mean to imply that all women like to be treated like whores. I do mean to say that most women I know have told me that they like sex rougher than most men give it to them. Rough does NOT equal chains and bondage. And this applies to the bedroom only, and does not mean that she wants you to choose her dinner for her, or treat her like less of a person. **Some women have said that they don't like it rough and what the hell am I thinking? Well, girls, you're in the minority. HOWEVER, all women need to remember that, in addition to be straight forward about your sexual desires, you need to be straight forward about your sexual limits. Don't be afraid to ask for more, but when something feels wrong, say so. Don't ever do something you don't want to do in silence and then blame the guy. Silence is dangerous.
Location: Seattle
Source: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/561877622.html
Dear Men of Craigslist,
Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.
But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We've done dinner and drinks. We've gone dancing. We've cuddled and watched a movie. I'm wearing a low cut shirt and you've been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me.
When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I'm not going to just lie still - I'll get involved. But don't make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a rapist. We've been kissing for a half hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That's nice, but it's time to move forward. Get on top of me. Don't make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I'm practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won't go down on me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. Don't gently suck my nipples and then pull back when I moan with pleasure. You being coy is totally not what I want. It's not what WE want.
OK, I know it's scary. There are lots of women out there who make fucking really difficult. So, I have compiled some handy tips. Don't think of this as complaining, or as schadenfreude for the Andrea Dworkins of the world. Just some simple tips, for timid men who have forgotten what it means to fuck like men:
1. Taking charge is not bad. Oh, there will be some women who feel that you are pushy. If you are making out with a woman, and she starts to push back, ask nicely if things are moving too fast. If she says yes, say something like "I'm sorry - you just look so fucking delicious. I'll go slower." Otherwise, skillfully move forward. If you start kissing a woman, and she responds well, and before long, you're both on the floor with her skirt pushed up, and you on top of her, it's not the time to roll onto your back and start awkwardly stroking the top of her head. Seriously, grow a goddamn pair. YOU'RE the man. Act like one.
2. Ohmyfuckinggod, please learn to respect the clit. It's different for every woman, so ask what she likes. Do not, I repeat, do not just wiggle your fingers around her pussy like you're trying to tickle her. Do not drum your fingertips against her vulva like you are impatiently waiting at the Sears Tire Center for your receipt. Do not push the clit like it is a doorbell at some house that you need to get inside of. Start by using all four fingers with firm yet gentle pressure against the outside of her pussy. Do not charge in with a single finger and start jabbing at things. And if you really don't know what to do, ask her. Just ask. "How do you like it?". It's a simple question, and most women will answer straight out. If she's being all coy, ask "Do you like pressure? Is it sensitive?" The clitoris is a varied item, indeed. Treat each one as though you have never encountered one before. Forget everything that your last partner liked.
3. Most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Yes, there are women out there who want to "make love" every time - sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it's not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you're mixing a cake batter up there. It's because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Don't be too afraid of what this means as far as gender equality goes - I am a raging feminist bitch, but I still want to be penetrated like you are planning on fucking my throat from the inside out.
4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some women like their hair pulled. Do not act shocked if she wants you to spank her ("Really? Spanking? Won't it hurt?" - yes, it does. That's the fucking point). We know you've read Stuff and Maxim, and that's all those laddie mags talk about in their "How to Please Her" sections. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that she sits on. Judge her response and continue on from there. You don't have to bend her over one knee and tell her she's a naughty girl and that Daddy's going to punish her; save that for the fifth date. Women are less delicate than you think, so don't worry about breaking her hip.
5. It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you're banging a woman, and she's crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can't even manage a grunt, she's going to feel like an idiot. You don't have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING. You know how when you are watching porn, and the girl does something great to the guy and the guy kind of goes "Ah!", half grunt, half yell? That's HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against her neck when you're in missionary position. You don't have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, she's going to get worried.
6. Most women like dirty talk, in addition to the grunting. If you'd like to get some dirty talk going, ask her if she likes the way you fuck her. If she responds well, continue with something like, "I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot." Is she still moaning in response? "Your tits are so beautiful." Does that work? If she doesn't respond well to the term "tits", you might have to stop there. If she keep moaning or responding, pass Go and collect $200. Try the following:
"Oh, god. Your pussy is SO tight."
"You're so wet - are you wet because you like the feel of my cock ramming you?"
"I think I'm going to come inside you. I'm going to fill up your little cunt." It doesn't matter that you're wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.
If all of those work, you can then progress to things like "sexy little bitch" and "dirty whore". Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge.
6. You're not obligated to eat a woman out. In return, she's not obligated to choke on your dick. Don't skip one and expect the other. If you do eat a woman out, the only comment you should make about her pussy is how nice it is. The length of her labia minora, the color of her interior, her waxing job or full bush - you are not John Madden. No time for color commentary.
7. Do not bitch about condoms. Oh, we hate them. Trust us. They hurt us more than they hurt you. But we don't want to be preggers, and you don't want to catch anything, right? Don't whine about condom sex. Do not explain that you can't come with one on. LEARN to come with one on, or if not, help us figure out what to do with you once we're satisfied and it's time for you to let loose your load.
8. We really like it when you come. It's called a money shot for a reason. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. She might, but don't assume. Seeing and/or feeling you come is rewarding for us, so there's no need to deprive us of it, but please do consult us before unleashing. "I think I'm going to come - how do you like it?" is a fair question that shouldn't rob you of your testicles.
In recent memory, I've been fucked by a very aggressive, manly guy, and I've been... well, fucked is the wrong term here. I've been penetrated by a total and utter wuss. Who am I going to run back to when I'm ready for my fill? Manly McHardon, that's who. ----------------------------------------------------
*New point of clarification - some people have brought up some really great issues in response to this post, so let me say this: I don't mean to imply that all women like to be treated like whores. I do mean to say that most women I know have told me that they like sex rougher than most men give it to them. Rough does NOT equal chains and bondage. And this applies to the bedroom only, and does not mean that she wants you to choose her dinner for her, or treat her like less of a person. **Some women have said that they don't like it rough and what the hell am I thinking? Well, girls, you're in the minority. HOWEVER, all women need to remember that, in addition to be straight forward about your sexual desires, you need to be straight forward about your sexual limits. Don't be afraid to ask for more, but when something feels wrong, say so. Don't ever do something you don't want to do in silence and then blame the guy. Silence is dangerous.
Location: Seattle
Source: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/561877622.html
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Single Precisely Because You Are Fit Not To Be? - m4w - 29
Date: 2011-12-23, 7:28PM EST
Is that you? Me too. It's a rare thing. The bad news is that you, nor I, nor even you and I together, can fix it. The amount of appeasement required to maintain a job, attend a regular yoga class, a book club, or even to ride elevators with strangers is too great for two people to not partake in lest we be deprived of the things that such activities are actually worth doing for. There is no changing that any time soon, unfortunately - and thus there really is no point in having a relationship; not even with someone just like yourself.
The good news, however, is that we can provide each other with periodic moments of solace from the sickness surrounding us. What that means is rare nights of uninhibited intellectual, emotional, and sexual passion all within the strict guideline that there be no unnecessary contact outside of those nights. You see, the risk involved with taking another course - either attempting to maintain a healthy relationship in an unhealthy worlds, or attempting to remain healthy in one without any outlet - is becoming exactly like those who we despise. The former leads to too much revealed to them, which leads to ever more serious threats to one's values, which leads to death or surrender - while the latter causes a gradual, imperceptible lowering of one's standards since there is no incentive to maintain them.
The route I propose, however, allows people such as us to operate in the world as it currently is - to pay it's ransoms and stay off of it's radar - but without having to forget that that is all that is happening. Without having to come to take pride in it, as if it were a natural and inherent part of life as it could be a should be. This route does involve an element of pain, yes - the acute acknowledgment of just how slim are our chances of untying this knot and making the predicament moot - but being who you are, you should be prepared to accept it. I know that I am.
If you are interested, I know you will hesitate to write (I hesitated to write this), but please do so. I want to hear from you.
Location: Real, Orlando, Friday, 5:00
Found at: http://orlando.craigslist.org/cas/2767244216.html
Is that you? Me too. It's a rare thing. The bad news is that you, nor I, nor even you and I together, can fix it. The amount of appeasement required to maintain a job, attend a regular yoga class, a book club, or even to ride elevators with strangers is too great for two people to not partake in lest we be deprived of the things that such activities are actually worth doing for. There is no changing that any time soon, unfortunately - and thus there really is no point in having a relationship; not even with someone just like yourself.
The good news, however, is that we can provide each other with periodic moments of solace from the sickness surrounding us. What that means is rare nights of uninhibited intellectual, emotional, and sexual passion all within the strict guideline that there be no unnecessary contact outside of those nights. You see, the risk involved with taking another course - either attempting to maintain a healthy relationship in an unhealthy worlds, or attempting to remain healthy in one without any outlet - is becoming exactly like those who we despise. The former leads to too much revealed to them, which leads to ever more serious threats to one's values, which leads to death or surrender - while the latter causes a gradual, imperceptible lowering of one's standards since there is no incentive to maintain them.
The route I propose, however, allows people such as us to operate in the world as it currently is - to pay it's ransoms and stay off of it's radar - but without having to forget that that is all that is happening. Without having to come to take pride in it, as if it were a natural and inherent part of life as it could be a should be. This route does involve an element of pain, yes - the acute acknowledgment of just how slim are our chances of untying this knot and making the predicament moot - but being who you are, you should be prepared to accept it. I know that I am.
If you are interested, I know you will hesitate to write (I hesitated to write this), but please do so. I want to hear from you.
Location: Real, Orlando, Friday, 5:00
Found at: http://orlando.craigslist.org/cas/2767244216.html
Thursday, January 26, 2012
User 'danielh_ads' has exceeded the 'max_questions' resource (current value: 1)I - 24 (SPONTANEOUS??)
Date: 2012-01-26, 7:07PM EST
Reply to: pers-st6y3-2819980504@craigslist.org
Hi Guys I am A Busty Petite Blonde Looking to Accommadate You !
This weekend I'm going to take a trip with u.
Location: SPONTANEOUS??
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cas/2819980504.html
Reply to: pers-st6y3-2819980504@craigslist.org
Hi Guys I am A Busty Petite Blonde Looking to Accommadate You !
This weekend I'm going to take a trip with u.
Location: SPONTANEOUS??
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cas/2819980504.html
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Atheist seeks Santorum supporter to ruin in bed - m4w - 41 (Near Norfolk)
Date: 2012-01-24, 9:24AM EST
Reply to: pers-vw7mj-2799569216@craigslist.org
I'm looking for a woman who is an avid Rick Santorum supporter. Someone who believes all the nonsense he spews forth on morality. . .a real devotee. I want to fuck the shit out of you. I want to make you into the slut you really are deep down, hidden beneath all the pronouncements about sin and living a clean life. I will pull your hair and buttfuck you. I will choke-fuck your throat until you're teary eyed. Your makeup will smear and run. You'll leave with cum in your panties and hair. And later, when you're at your church social, you'll advise to your fellow parishioners on the importance of tolerance and acceptance. And you'll smile deeply to yourself. . .
Location: Near Norfolk
Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/bmw/cas/2799569216.html
Reply to: pers-vw7mj-2799569216@craigslist.org
I'm looking for a woman who is an avid Rick Santorum supporter. Someone who believes all the nonsense he spews forth on morality. . .a real devotee. I want to fuck the shit out of you. I want to make you into the slut you really are deep down, hidden beneath all the pronouncements about sin and living a clean life. I will pull your hair and buttfuck you. I will choke-fuck your throat until you're teary eyed. Your makeup will smear and run. You'll leave with cum in your panties and hair. And later, when you're at your church social, you'll advise to your fellow parishioners on the importance of tolerance and acceptance. And you'll smile deeply to yourself. . .
Location: Near NorfolkFound at: http://boston.craigslist.org/bmw/cas/2799569216.html
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Friend of Bill - m4w - 30
Date: 2012-01-14, 3:49PM EST
Reply to: pers-x32ym-2799980802@craigslist.org
We know why we're on here. Hit me up if your familiar with the title or my tatoo
Location: woodstock
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cas/2799980802.html
Reply to: pers-x32ym-2799980802@craigslist.org
We know why we're on here. Hit me up if your familiar with the title or my tatoo
Location: woodstock
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cas/2799980802.html
Friday, January 6, 2012
Seeking a Stalker - m4w - 42
Date: 2012-01-05, 6:04PM EST
Reply to: pers-qkmn6-2785285930@craigslist.org
Attractive married father-figure seeks a stalker, a woman who'll write love notes to him in her panties, break into his home, and leave those panties in his pillowcase, a woman who threatens to hurt his wife if he refuses her advances.
If you're like this, I'd like to be the object of your desire.
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/cas/2785285930.html
Reply to: pers-qkmn6-2785285930@craigslist.org
Attractive married father-figure seeks a stalker, a woman who'll write love notes to him in her panties, break into his home, and leave those panties in his pillowcase, a woman who threatens to hurt his wife if he refuses her advances.
If you're like this, I'd like to be the object of your desire.
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/cas/2785285930.html
Sunday, December 25, 2011
MARRY ME! - m4w - 50
Date: 2011-12-25, 12:03PM EST
Reply to: pers-awrrs-2768473287@craigslist.org
VERY successful Businessman with Terminal Leukemia, maybe 2 years to be around, with NO ONE to leave it all to. Looking for VERY Special Female to Marry me, Love me, Have my Child, and be left in a position to want for nothing the rest of your life! Be an excellent mother and raise OUR Child to be a very special person! You are: Between 18 and 30, intelligent, beautiful inside and out, slim, petite, and cute. Knowing that there is MUCH more to this life than struggling through it married to unhappiness and never smiling! This Ad is for REAL! The question is, ARE YOU? No Druggies or Drinkers, and you MUST be FAITHFUL while I am here!
Location: CARROLLTON
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/wat/cas/2768473287.html
Reply to: pers-awrrs-2768473287@craigslist.org
VERY successful Businessman with Terminal Leukemia, maybe 2 years to be around, with NO ONE to leave it all to. Looking for VERY Special Female to Marry me, Love me, Have my Child, and be left in a position to want for nothing the rest of your life! Be an excellent mother and raise OUR Child to be a very special person! You are: Between 18 and 30, intelligent, beautiful inside and out, slim, petite, and cute. Knowing that there is MUCH more to this life than struggling through it married to unhappiness and never smiling! This Ad is for REAL! The question is, ARE YOU? No Druggies or Drinkers, and you MUST be FAITHFUL while I am here!
Location: CARROLLTON
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/wat/cas/2768473287.html
This ad is a literary masterpiece. Cliff Notes available. - m4w - 35
Date: 2011-12-23, 5:26PM EST
Reply to: pers-facdh-2767112214@craigslist.org
Me: I wear boxer briefs on most days. I've found that they provide an appropriate amount of coverage without sacrificing the kind of support that a grown man needs. I'm always fully dressed when I eat alone, though, because what if I start to choke and I have to run outside in my underwear? Man, that would be embarrassing.
If you want to get on my good side, just buy me one of those rotisserie chickens at Safeway. Like my mom always said, "Never turn down a gift of meat." You don't have to get me a rack of lamb or anything, but hey, it's your dollar.
If I turned gay, I think my perfect man would be a chiropractor. A chiropractor named Tad. I figure if Tad is going to be back there he might as well be doing something useful, like checking me for scoliosis.
They say that lemmings will follow other lemmings over a cliff to their deaths in the ocean below. Using those strict criteria, I can honestly say I am not a lemming.
Certain fetishists get an erotic thrill when someone urinates on them. Would it be considered bad form to eat asparagus before obliging them?.
I think Jesus Christ will return in 2012 when he gets the most write-in votes, narrowly beating out Mickey Mouse. I'm not sure he will make a good president though. "Loaves and fishes for everyone," he will probably say. Screw the loaves and fishes, Jesus! I want a Cinnabon!
You: Prefer rolling the car windows down over turning on the air conditioner. Possess an almost (but not quite) reckless sense of adventure. Aren't afraid to wrestle. Will go camping with only an hour's notice. Your makeup doesn't look like you applied it with a putty knife. You aren't that strange raver girl who swings her arms and legs all over the place in the dance club, thereby hogging more than her share of the dance floor. You can hold a conversation, which means you have to ask a few questions and I don't mean things like, "So tell me about yourself." That's not even a question anyway. You aren't afraid to express your opinion. Be feisty if you want. Strong is hot. But so is being a lady.
Found at: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/2767112214.html
Reply to: pers-facdh-2767112214@craigslist.org
Me: I wear boxer briefs on most days. I've found that they provide an appropriate amount of coverage without sacrificing the kind of support that a grown man needs. I'm always fully dressed when I eat alone, though, because what if I start to choke and I have to run outside in my underwear? Man, that would be embarrassing.
If you want to get on my good side, just buy me one of those rotisserie chickens at Safeway. Like my mom always said, "Never turn down a gift of meat." You don't have to get me a rack of lamb or anything, but hey, it's your dollar.
If I turned gay, I think my perfect man would be a chiropractor. A chiropractor named Tad. I figure if Tad is going to be back there he might as well be doing something useful, like checking me for scoliosis.
They say that lemmings will follow other lemmings over a cliff to their deaths in the ocean below. Using those strict criteria, I can honestly say I am not a lemming.
Certain fetishists get an erotic thrill when someone urinates on them. Would it be considered bad form to eat asparagus before obliging them?.
I think Jesus Christ will return in 2012 when he gets the most write-in votes, narrowly beating out Mickey Mouse. I'm not sure he will make a good president though. "Loaves and fishes for everyone," he will probably say. Screw the loaves and fishes, Jesus! I want a Cinnabon!
You: Prefer rolling the car windows down over turning on the air conditioner. Possess an almost (but not quite) reckless sense of adventure. Aren't afraid to wrestle. Will go camping with only an hour's notice. Your makeup doesn't look like you applied it with a putty knife. You aren't that strange raver girl who swings her arms and legs all over the place in the dance club, thereby hogging more than her share of the dance floor. You can hold a conversation, which means you have to ask a few questions and I don't mean things like, "So tell me about yourself." That's not even a question anyway. You aren't afraid to express your opinion. Be feisty if you want. Strong is hot. But so is being a lady.
Found at: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/2767112214.html
Saturday, December 24, 2011
U know U want the mashed potato treatment! - m4w - 44
Date: 2011-12-23, 9:09PM CST
Reply to: pers-xspdd-2767377357@craigslist.org
It's Friday night in the big city.
I'm bored and probably boring.
Christmas is upon us and I'm alone and forlorn. Woe is me!
I'm white and very pale. I'm practically translucent. Which is different than being a transvestite.
I'm largely of Irish descent. I have short light reddish hair and a bad attitude. I'm over 6 feet tall, barely, and just over 200 pounds.
I'm better looking than Peewee Herman, but not quite as sexy as Brad Pitt.
I could be Brad's fifth cousin twice removed.
I do have some real pics I can share. Which will hopefully be me and not Brad.
I seek an adventurous female humanoid who might consider meeting me tonight for a drink at a local pub. If we hit it off perhaps I can give you the mashed potato treatment. Don't ask me what that is. I'm still working on the concept.
I just though humor might be a better method of potentially meeting someone, than flat out saying how big my dick is and that I want to hump like two teenagers on prom night. Oops, I said it.
By the way I'm lying about my dick. Or am I?
Seriously, are there any adventurous and bored women out there who would be willing to meet me? Probably not. I suspect the only responses I will get will be from spammers and guys who are 100 percent straight but curious.
Woe unto me.
So if you're interested drop me a photo of yourself, and not Peewee Herman, and perhaps we might meet. If we hit it off perhaps together we can work on the concept of the mashed potato treatment.
Merry Xmas or Happy Holidays depending on your preference.
Location: Near Sheridan El stop N Lakeview
Found at: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/cas/2767377357.html
Reply to: pers-xspdd-2767377357@craigslist.org
It's Friday night in the big city.
I'm bored and probably boring.
Christmas is upon us and I'm alone and forlorn. Woe is me!
I'm white and very pale. I'm practically translucent. Which is different than being a transvestite.
I'm largely of Irish descent. I have short light reddish hair and a bad attitude. I'm over 6 feet tall, barely, and just over 200 pounds.
I'm better looking than Peewee Herman, but not quite as sexy as Brad Pitt.
I could be Brad's fifth cousin twice removed.
I do have some real pics I can share. Which will hopefully be me and not Brad.
I seek an adventurous female humanoid who might consider meeting me tonight for a drink at a local pub. If we hit it off perhaps I can give you the mashed potato treatment. Don't ask me what that is. I'm still working on the concept.
I just though humor might be a better method of potentially meeting someone, than flat out saying how big my dick is and that I want to hump like two teenagers on prom night. Oops, I said it.
By the way I'm lying about my dick. Or am I?
Seriously, are there any adventurous and bored women out there who would be willing to meet me? Probably not. I suspect the only responses I will get will be from spammers and guys who are 100 percent straight but curious.
Woe unto me.
So if you're interested drop me a photo of yourself, and not Peewee Herman, and perhaps we might meet. If we hit it off perhaps together we can work on the concept of the mashed potato treatment.
Merry Xmas or Happy Holidays depending on your preference.
Location: Near Sheridan El stop N Lakeview
Found at: http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/cas/2767377357.html
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Anchor baby maker - m4w - 41
Date: 2011-12-13, 12:50AM EST
Reply to: pers-ffspa-2750462339@craigslist.org
Do you need an anchor baby to keep you in the country? Look no further. I've helped enough women with expiring visas maintain permanent residence to know that if you want to stay in the country with minimal to no restrictions that this is the way to go. If you're worried about being deported and have no other means of remaining here, contact me with a picture and phone number. I might be your last hope. All races, colors, religious beliefs and types accepted and best of all NO MONEY INVOLVED!!!
Location: all ny
Found at: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/cas/2750462339.html
Reply to: pers-ffspa-2750462339@craigslist.org
Do you need an anchor baby to keep you in the country? Look no further. I've helped enough women with expiring visas maintain permanent residence to know that if you want to stay in the country with minimal to no restrictions that this is the way to go. If you're worried about being deported and have no other means of remaining here, contact me with a picture and phone number. I might be your last hope. All races, colors, religious beliefs and types accepted and best of all NO MONEY INVOLVED!!!
Location: all ny
Found at: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/cas/2750462339.html
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
A Muse - m4w (Lost and Found)
Date: 2011-12-04, 1:10PM PST
Reply to: pers-7ztvu-2735791290@craigslist.org
Am missing her warmth, her sarcasm, her beauty, our intellectual conversations, playfulness we shared and our spiritual connection. So connected on the spiritual, physical, mental and emotional level when we knew and were able to be more carefree. Some of them will never wane. When we face our mirror, a connection that has a high intensity, we can experience the highest of highs, also the lowest of lows. Such intensity can also magnify strength, weakness, love, fears and past hurts, can kick the doors open on them, even those once thought resolved.
Do we let them block what a soul desires? Do we use the stuff that arises as an opportunity to heal the spirits and the union? Do we accept the challenge to love unconditionally without expectation? (Like our beloved pet dog may show us?) or Does fear and past hurt push us apart? The "Oh No" here it comes again... shows up? Do we unconsciously say No? or Do we consciously say Know?
My fear got the best of me. Paid more attention to things I don't even care about in some illusory unconscious need to self-protect. Separation.
Apparently, it's what was needed so I could embrace the challenge and opportunity presented. So I could see how far I'd strayed from my core of consciousness, and have the time to do enough work to return to it. Know, once more, how to put the focus and energy on what actually matters, where I can actually Love you more.
Location: Lost and Found
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/mis/2735791290.html
Reply to: pers-7ztvu-2735791290@craigslist.org
Am missing her warmth, her sarcasm, her beauty, our intellectual conversations, playfulness we shared and our spiritual connection. So connected on the spiritual, physical, mental and emotional level when we knew and were able to be more carefree. Some of them will never wane. When we face our mirror, a connection that has a high intensity, we can experience the highest of highs, also the lowest of lows. Such intensity can also magnify strength, weakness, love, fears and past hurts, can kick the doors open on them, even those once thought resolved.
Do we let them block what a soul desires? Do we use the stuff that arises as an opportunity to heal the spirits and the union? Do we accept the challenge to love unconditionally without expectation? (Like our beloved pet dog may show us?) or Does fear and past hurt push us apart? The "Oh No" here it comes again... shows up? Do we unconsciously say No? or Do we consciously say Know?
My fear got the best of me. Paid more attention to things I don't even care about in some illusory unconscious need to self-protect. Separation.
Apparently, it's what was needed so I could embrace the challenge and opportunity presented. So I could see how far I'd strayed from my core of consciousness, and have the time to do enough work to return to it. Know, once more, how to put the focus and energy on what actually matters, where I can actually Love you more.
Location: Lost and Found
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/mis/2735791290.html
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Are you a Football widow?? - m4w - 40
Date: 2011-12-04, 7:28PM EST
Reply to: pers-zspfx-2736098121@craigslist.org
Are you feeling ignored because your man is watching football?
How about something just for you, get the attention you deserve...
I am all man I love football, but you know what I like better? To get down with a sexy girl who appreciates my attention.
I am a cool down to earth guy, someone who will make you laugh and be very easy to get along with. Good looking, shaved head, clean cut white italian businessman type. I also won't disappoint the size queen...
Let's have some safe, clean adult time you and I. Please reply and introduce yourself.
Shhhhh, this is just us, 100% discreet.
Found at: http://miami.craigslist.org/brw/cas/2736098121.html
Reply to: pers-zspfx-2736098121@craigslist.org
Are you feeling ignored because your man is watching football?
How about something just for you, get the attention you deserve...
I am all man I love football, but you know what I like better? To get down with a sexy girl who appreciates my attention.
I am a cool down to earth guy, someone who will make you laugh and be very easy to get along with. Good looking, shaved head, clean cut white italian businessman type. I also won't disappoint the size queen...
Let's have some safe, clean adult time you and I. Please reply and introduce yourself.
Shhhhh, this is just us, 100% discreet.
Found at: http://miami.craigslist.org/brw/cas/2736098121.html
Monday, October 24, 2011
Discreet Dom for Bimbo Sub - m4w - 30
Date: 2011-10-24, 9:26AM EDT
Reply to:
Discreet married dominant seeks a long term relationship with a submissive woman. I'm in to objectification, bimbo training, directive-dress and exhibitionism. Looking for an intelligent, articulate woman who desires to experience these things with a dominant who will understand her and earn her trust. I'm 30 - white, 6'1" 240 lbs 8" cut
* Location: N MA / S NH
Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/nwb/cas/2631816583.html
Reply to:
Discreet married dominant seeks a long term relationship with a submissive woman. I'm in to objectification, bimbo training, directive-dress and exhibitionism. Looking for an intelligent, articulate woman who desires to experience these things with a dominant who will understand her and earn her trust. I'm 30 - white, 6'1" 240 lbs 8" cut
* Location: N MA / S NH
Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/nwb/cas/2631816583.html
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Therapist looking to trade therapy to be watched - m4w - 30 (Union Square)
Date: 2011-10-23, 8:09PM EDT
Reply to:
I'm a licensed psychotherapist with an odd, if harmless, desire. I enjoy being watched while I masturbate. I'm not looking for any sexual contact. I also enjoy helping people through psychotherapy. So my idea is to provide you with free therapy if you'd be willing to watch me.
I'm harmless, sensitive, and simply happen to have an unusual fetish. Id certainly be willing to meet for coffee to discuss what I have in mind and to see if it'd be a good fit at the outset. Cheers-
Found at: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/2665280204.html
Reply to:
I'm a licensed psychotherapist with an odd, if harmless, desire. I enjoy being watched while I masturbate. I'm not looking for any sexual contact. I also enjoy helping people through psychotherapy. So my idea is to provide you with free therapy if you'd be willing to watch me.
I'm harmless, sensitive, and simply happen to have an unusual fetish. Id certainly be willing to meet for coffee to discuss what I have in mind and to see if it'd be a good fit at the outset. Cheers-
Found at: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/2665280204.html
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Aryan man looking for aryan woman/skinbyrd - m4w - 22
Date: 2011-09-24, 3:00AM EDT
Reply to: pers-yd5yr-2614616557@craigslist.org
Proud white man looking for proud white woman, Because the beauty of the White Aryan women must not perish from the earth. There are too many fucking mongrels in this god forsaken state. Just moved out here from California, and I'm looking for a woman who shares my views. I'm proud to be a white man, and I need a girl who feels the same way. We must secure the existence of our people and a future for White children.
Location: Woodstock
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cas/2614616557.html
Reply to: pers-yd5yr-2614616557@craigslist.org
Proud white man looking for proud white woman, Because the beauty of the White Aryan women must not perish from the earth. There are too many fucking mongrels in this god forsaken state. Just moved out here from California, and I'm looking for a woman who shares my views. I'm proud to be a white man, and I need a girl who feels the same way. We must secure the existence of our people and a future for White children.
Location: Woodstock
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cas/2614616557.html
Sunday, September 18, 2011
fun last night ...brag (did an ANON butt fuck) - m4m - 54
Date: 2011-09-18, 5:07AM EDT
Reply to: pers-njbnz-2604481960@craigslist.org
Last night I read an ad for a guy that wanted to do an ANON fuck. So I never did it so I tried it out. Drove up to his place. took off my shoes in the car and left them there. played with my dick while walking in. got it hard. opened the frontdoor, it was a nice place, very dark, just enough light to see. walked in to the bedroom saw the butt-fuckEE laying on the bed with his ass in the air. There was another guy laying in bed with he jerking. I dropped my pants and left them n the floor. I knelt on the bed and his friend gave my some lube. and also felt my cock, He said,"big cock, you'll like it". he then layed back and started to jerk. I pushed my cock into his ass and it was all lubed and big. Felt like I was 27th guy to fuck him that night. I pounded his ass big time, ramming it as hard as I could. He loved it, moning and making loud noises. I felt like a king fucking this asshole(pun intended). I fucked him till I got tired and then left. WOW what a night.
Location: miami lakes
Found at: http://miami.craigslist.org/mdc/cas/2604481960.html
Reply to: pers-njbnz-2604481960@craigslist.org
Last night I read an ad for a guy that wanted to do an ANON fuck. So I never did it so I tried it out. Drove up to his place. took off my shoes in the car and left them there. played with my dick while walking in. got it hard. opened the frontdoor, it was a nice place, very dark, just enough light to see. walked in to the bedroom saw the butt-fuckEE laying on the bed with his ass in the air. There was another guy laying in bed with he jerking. I dropped my pants and left them n the floor. I knelt on the bed and his friend gave my some lube. and also felt my cock, He said,"big cock, you'll like it". he then layed back and started to jerk. I pushed my cock into his ass and it was all lubed and big. Felt like I was 27th guy to fuck him that night. I pounded his ass big time, ramming it as hard as I could. He loved it, moning and making loud noises. I felt like a king fucking this asshole(pun intended). I fucked him till I got tired and then left. WOW what a night.
Location: miami lakes
Found at: http://miami.craigslist.org/mdc/cas/2604481960.html
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Overweight WoW-Geek Seeks Casual Encounters - m4w - 29
Date: 2011-08-22, 4:44PM PDT
Reply to:
Okay, so I'm a multi-racial, overweight WoW-Geek with no driver's license. While the situation is not the same as most, my mom lives with me and my younger brother and pays all the bills presently.
I am 420-friendly. :)
I have designs for making my fortune someday, and I am on the path to self-improvement, but my five-year relationship just ended a few months ago and I am now ready to engage in some reckless unprotected sex.
I am looking for some NSA fun from any interested female. I have very few inhibitions and, despite my average "endowment", I am pretty talented in bed... if still a bit green.
My kink list is extensive, but vanilla is fine with me too!
I am disease-free and you should be as well, as I refuse to use protection.
If you would like to have a NSA pregnancy, however, I can help you with that as well. I have an astronomical IQ, am in great health despite the fact that I treat my body like crap and I have what many would consider pleasing features.
I also badly wish to send my DNA into the future. Biological imperative, you know. So I have no qualms about getting anyone pregnant and leaving it to them to raise the child, so long as that's agreed upon at the beginning.
If you're interested, please contact me. Your pic gets mine. Remember, I have no car, so you'll have to pick me up to take me where ever. :P
• Location: Sparks
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/cas/2560788932
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(second ad, same guy!)
BHM - Want to have my baby? - m4w - 29 (Sparks)
Date: 2011-08-23, 12:45PM PDT
Reply to: pers-jeb42-2562168734@craigslist.org
I'm a Big Handsome Man who lost his fiancee of five years to cancer earlier in the year. She was young, but couldn't conceive after she started the chemo and radiation treatments, even though she wanted to give me a child.
I now live with my mother and my younger (adopted) brother, so a live-in relationship has been out of the question and, honestly, I don't think I could handle another relationship.
I do have sexual needs, however, and a desire to reproduce. And I know that there are women out there who find big guys like myself attractive. There may also be women out there who would like to have a baby without the drama of a man in their lives or the expense of a clinic.
I have a very high IQ, was a National Junior Scholar and Junior Member of Mensa while I was attending school. I survived Kowasaki's disease as a child and am exceptionally healthy and naturally strong as an adult, despite the fact that I treat my body poorly. I eat fast food and don't work out, I smoke lots of weed (no tobacco though), and I'm still medication-free and feeling good. I am also multi-racial, which has diversified my genes. These things are a testament to the strength of my DNA and are selling points as to why you should consider choosing me as a sexual sperm donor. The drawbacks are that I am near-sighted and only average height. If you don't mind your healthy genius offspring growing into a 5'7" corrective lens-wearer, then you can't go wrong with me.
I would like to be a parent, myself. But as it currently stands, the only way I'd be doing that is if I got sole custody of my own offspring. So, instead, I figured that I could take care of my biological imperative and reproduce with someone who wanted to be a single parent. That way, I get the peace of mind of knowing that I did pass my genetics down into the future and you get the kid you always wanted, to raise without my interference.
As for the sexual portion of things, I have very few limits. Virtually anything you wish for me to do to please you, I will gladly do. I respond well to constructive sexual criticism and adapt my technique for maximum effect every time. I am aroused by numerous fetishes, so if you are into something you can't find anyone else to do for you, I can probably comply so long as it is within the physical range of a big guy like myself.
I don't have transportation presently and am in the process of moving, so I'll be unavailable for encounters for a week or so. If you're seriously interested, you will need to travel to the Sparks area (if you don't already live here) and we'll have to figure out a place to have our encounters. I may not be able to spend excessive amounts of time with you, so this would primarily be a sexual encounter only. If we hit it off and become friends, then what happens from that point on depends upon you.
Also, don't be self-conscious about yourself. I don't mind if you have some superficial flaws. The purpose of this entire thing would be mutual satisfaction and reproduction. You'd be helping ease my loneliness, satisfy my desires and propagate my DNA. I'd be helping you achieve orgasm, feel more fulfilled and finally conceive the child you've always wanted. And you won't have to worry about any legalities whatsoever. I would, of course, stay out of the child's life as much as you wished for me to, and I have no intention of declaring myself the child's legal parent unless you so chose to name me as such.
I am unemployed, so medical bills and such will be your sole responsibility. I'm attending college and attempting to get published... so, blood from a turnip.
Anyway, only serious applicants need contact me. Your picture would be nice, and primarily, I'd like to know what exactly you'd like to do, what turns you on and how/when you'd like to meet up. I'm STD-Free and you must be as well.
I am also up for non-reproductive NSA sex, but I still refuse to wear a condom. So... you'll need to be on the pill or something if you want to meet up and not risk pregnancy.
* I am 420 Friendly!
Location: Sparks
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/cas/2562168734.html
Reply to:
Okay, so I'm a multi-racial, overweight WoW-Geek with no driver's license. While the situation is not the same as most, my mom lives with me and my younger brother and pays all the bills presently.
I am 420-friendly. :)
I have designs for making my fortune someday, and I am on the path to self-improvement, but my five-year relationship just ended a few months ago and I am now ready to engage in some reckless unprotected sex.
I am looking for some NSA fun from any interested female. I have very few inhibitions and, despite my average "endowment", I am pretty talented in bed... if still a bit green.
My kink list is extensive, but vanilla is fine with me too!
I am disease-free and you should be as well, as I refuse to use protection.
If you would like to have a NSA pregnancy, however, I can help you with that as well. I have an astronomical IQ, am in great health despite the fact that I treat my body like crap and I have what many would consider pleasing features.
I also badly wish to send my DNA into the future. Biological imperative, you know. So I have no qualms about getting anyone pregnant and leaving it to them to raise the child, so long as that's agreed upon at the beginning.
If you're interested, please contact me. Your pic gets mine. Remember, I have no car, so you'll have to pick me up to take me where ever. :P
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/cas/2560788932
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(second ad, same guy!)
BHM - Want to have my baby? - m4w - 29 (Sparks)
Date: 2011-08-23, 12:45PM PDT
Reply to: pers-jeb42-2562168734@craigslist.org
I'm a Big Handsome Man who lost his fiancee of five years to cancer earlier in the year. She was young, but couldn't conceive after she started the chemo and radiation treatments, even though she wanted to give me a child.
I now live with my mother and my younger (adopted) brother, so a live-in relationship has been out of the question and, honestly, I don't think I could handle another relationship.
I do have sexual needs, however, and a desire to reproduce. And I know that there are women out there who find big guys like myself attractive. There may also be women out there who would like to have a baby without the drama of a man in their lives or the expense of a clinic.
I have a very high IQ, was a National Junior Scholar and Junior Member of Mensa while I was attending school. I survived Kowasaki's disease as a child and am exceptionally healthy and naturally strong as an adult, despite the fact that I treat my body poorly. I eat fast food and don't work out, I smoke lots of weed (no tobacco though), and I'm still medication-free and feeling good. I am also multi-racial, which has diversified my genes. These things are a testament to the strength of my DNA and are selling points as to why you should consider choosing me as a sexual sperm donor. The drawbacks are that I am near-sighted and only average height. If you don't mind your healthy genius offspring growing into a 5'7" corrective lens-wearer, then you can't go wrong with me.
I would like to be a parent, myself. But as it currently stands, the only way I'd be doing that is if I got sole custody of my own offspring. So, instead, I figured that I could take care of my biological imperative and reproduce with someone who wanted to be a single parent. That way, I get the peace of mind of knowing that I did pass my genetics down into the future and you get the kid you always wanted, to raise without my interference.
As for the sexual portion of things, I have very few limits. Virtually anything you wish for me to do to please you, I will gladly do. I respond well to constructive sexual criticism and adapt my technique for maximum effect every time. I am aroused by numerous fetishes, so if you are into something you can't find anyone else to do for you, I can probably comply so long as it is within the physical range of a big guy like myself.
I don't have transportation presently and am in the process of moving, so I'll be unavailable for encounters for a week or so. If you're seriously interested, you will need to travel to the Sparks area (if you don't already live here) and we'll have to figure out a place to have our encounters. I may not be able to spend excessive amounts of time with you, so this would primarily be a sexual encounter only. If we hit it off and become friends, then what happens from that point on depends upon you.
Also, don't be self-conscious about yourself. I don't mind if you have some superficial flaws. The purpose of this entire thing would be mutual satisfaction and reproduction. You'd be helping ease my loneliness, satisfy my desires and propagate my DNA. I'd be helping you achieve orgasm, feel more fulfilled and finally conceive the child you've always wanted. And you won't have to worry about any legalities whatsoever. I would, of course, stay out of the child's life as much as you wished for me to, and I have no intention of declaring myself the child's legal parent unless you so chose to name me as such.
I am unemployed, so medical bills and such will be your sole responsibility. I'm attending college and attempting to get published... so, blood from a turnip.
Anyway, only serious applicants need contact me. Your picture would be nice, and primarily, I'd like to know what exactly you'd like to do, what turns you on and how/when you'd like to meet up. I'm STD-Free and you must be as well.
I am also up for non-reproductive NSA sex, but I still refuse to wear a condom. So... you'll need to be on the pill or something if you want to meet up and not risk pregnancy.
* I am 420 Friendly!
Location: Sparks
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/cas/2562168734.html
Friday, August 19, 2011
Lifetime warranty !! - m4w - 30
Date: 2011-08-11, 6:48PM EDT
Reply to: pers-pgghq-2530031339@craigslist.org
I am one of the best "products" in the market right now and I come with a lifetime warranty !!
I was built to satisfy your desires and more. My batteries are long lasting and recharge very quickly after they have being drained.
I don't come with a user's manual because I'm so easy to use that you will be cuming in minutes and guess what? The more you use me the better it gets because I have a built in memory which allows me to remember what way you like to get off the best. You just can't lose with me.
As a matter of fact, I come with a free trial offer. You can use me for as long as you want for one time only. After that, if you are satisfied with the results, you can keep me forever and use me over and over again, as many times as you like. Just think about all those hours of extasy and pleasure that are waiting for you.
If for any reason you are not 100% satisfied, you may return me at any time, no questions asked.
This is an amazing deal, so what are you waiting for? Grab your computer, e-mail me and order me fast while supplies last !!!
Made in México !!
Location: Richmond
Found at: http://richmondin.craigslist.org/cas/2530031339.html
Reply to: pers-pgghq-2530031339@craigslist.org
I am one of the best "products" in the market right now and I come with a lifetime warranty !!
I was built to satisfy your desires and more. My batteries are long lasting and recharge very quickly after they have being drained.
I don't come with a user's manual because I'm so easy to use that you will be cuming in minutes and guess what? The more you use me the better it gets because I have a built in memory which allows me to remember what way you like to get off the best. You just can't lose with me.
As a matter of fact, I come with a free trial offer. You can use me for as long as you want for one time only. After that, if you are satisfied with the results, you can keep me forever and use me over and over again, as many times as you like. Just think about all those hours of extasy and pleasure that are waiting for you.
If for any reason you are not 100% satisfied, you may return me at any time, no questions asked.
This is an amazing deal, so what are you waiting for? Grab your computer, e-mail me and order me fast while supplies last !!!
Made in México !!
Location: Richmond
Found at: http://richmondin.craigslist.org/cas/2530031339.html
Thursday, August 18, 2011
I want to have sex in a bathtub full of breakfast cereal - m4w - m4w - 29 (s p a r k s )
Date: 2011-08-14, 7:09PM PDT
Reply to:
I am looking for a kindred spirit that enjoys, sex, baths, and cereal. So why not try them all at the same time? Now, be warned I have some very specific stipulations for this fantasy of mine:
1) The cereal must have less than 2 grams of protein per serving. Thats right, the pure sugar stuff kids eat to get roofed like junkies on speed. These can include:
Fruity Pebbles
Count Chocula
Cookie Crisp
Cocoa Pebbles
Cocoa Puffs
Golden Crisps
Honey Smacks
Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch
Cap'n Crunch
Apple Jacks
Froot Loops
Corn Pops
If you have other suggestions I am more than happy to entertain them.
2) It must be 2% milk, having sex in a bathtub full of cereal is no time for moderation. Plus, I need to get my daily dose of Vitamins A and D.
3) You must be comfortable in the doggie style position. I dont see any other way to avoid shrinkage and still let you enjoy your cereal before it becomes too mushy.
4) If you insist of photography/videography I will need to insist that I wear a Mexican wrestling mask a la Nacho Libre.
5) I plan on making this a safe encounter to please feel free to bring your own utensils.
After we are finished if you feel like you need something to make you regular again, I should have some Grape-Nuts that you can nibble on. If you are serious, send me a photo, I need to make sure you can fit into the tub.
Location: s p a r k s
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/cas/2547165154.html
Reply to:
I am looking for a kindred spirit that enjoys, sex, baths, and cereal. So why not try them all at the same time? Now, be warned I have some very specific stipulations for this fantasy of mine:
1) The cereal must have less than 2 grams of protein per serving. Thats right, the pure sugar stuff kids eat to get roofed like junkies on speed. These can include:
Fruity Pebbles
Count Chocula
Cookie Crisp
Cocoa Pebbles
Cocoa Puffs
Golden Crisps
Honey Smacks
Cap'n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch
Cap'n Crunch
Apple Jacks
Froot Loops
Corn Pops
If you have other suggestions I am more than happy to entertain them.
2) It must be 2% milk, having sex in a bathtub full of cereal is no time for moderation. Plus, I need to get my daily dose of Vitamins A and D.
3) You must be comfortable in the doggie style position. I dont see any other way to avoid shrinkage and still let you enjoy your cereal before it becomes too mushy.
4) If you insist of photography/videography I will need to insist that I wear a Mexican wrestling mask a la Nacho Libre.
5) I plan on making this a safe encounter to please feel free to bring your own utensils.
After we are finished if you feel like you need something to make you regular again, I should have some Grape-Nuts that you can nibble on. If you are serious, send me a photo, I need to make sure you can fit into the tub.
Location: s p a r k s
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/cas/2547165154.html
Saturday, July 30, 2011
You've Won
Date: 2011-07-29, 11:07PM PDT
Reply to: pers-a9bhc-2520724673@craigslist.org
Message received, loud and clear. Being straight forward always worked for me but you couldn't even do that.
Congratulations! You don't have to worry anymore.
Ciao
Found at: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/mis/2520724673.html
Reply to: pers-a9bhc-2520724673@craigslist.org
Message received, loud and clear. Being straight forward always worked for me but you couldn't even do that.
Congratulations! You don't have to worry anymore.
Ciao
Found at: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/mis/2520724673.html
Just watched you escape from the county jail... - m4w - 19
Date: 2011-07-29, 9:19PM PDT
Reply to: pers-darj6-2520653865@craigslist.org
Damn... it was love at first sight~*~*~*~ (well, kind of, it was dark). You were wearing your county jail uniform.. you know, those green cargo pants and white t shirt. I would have offered you a cigarette, but you shot across Ocean Street like a fish back to the sea, pulling behind you that sweet trail of freedom.
Don't let the man get you down! Those cops were a few blocks behind you, so I hope you made it out safely~
Found at: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/mis/2520653865.html
Reply to: pers-darj6-2520653865@craigslist.org
Damn... it was love at first sight~*~*~*~ (well, kind of, it was dark). You were wearing your county jail uniform.. you know, those green cargo pants and white t shirt. I would have offered you a cigarette, but you shot across Ocean Street like a fish back to the sea, pulling behind you that sweet trail of freedom.
Don't let the man get you down! Those cops were a few blocks behind you, so I hope you made it out safely~
Found at: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/scz/mis/2520653865.html
you where the light that shined in my life - m4w
Date: 2011-07-29, 8:15PM CDT
Reply to: pers-qtkjk-2520462408@craigslist.org
I don't know what I could have possibly done to deserve this but I don't care I am dieing without you and my daughter I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH please contact me please just let me know your both ok please
Location: our home
Found at: http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/mis/2520462408.html
Reply to: pers-qtkjk-2520462408@craigslist.org
I don't know what I could have possibly done to deserve this but I don't care I am dieing without you and my daughter I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH please contact me please just let me know your both ok please
Location: our home
Found at: http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/mis/2520462408.html
Sunday, July 24, 2011
DIVORCE FILED...HE IS "ALL YOURS", MARIE - w4w
Date: 2011-06-16, 1:05AM EDT
I know this is not your first time around the flagpole, so let's just keep this short and sweet. You got what you wanted, Marie. I hope you enjoy it, too.
Chris, you are a piece of shit. From what I've heard, Marie's game is to hook married guys and convince them that she's pregnant. It won't be too long before you find out that you've been played. So sad for you. I'm playing my tiny violin for you right now, dumbshit.
I'm beginning to wonder if her "fiance" is in on it. A nifty way to get money out of married guys, right? If so, he is a piece of shit as well. Enjoy your misery!
Found at: http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/mis/2443422493.html
I know this is not your first time around the flagpole, so let's just keep this short and sweet. You got what you wanted, Marie. I hope you enjoy it, too.
Chris, you are a piece of shit. From what I've heard, Marie's game is to hook married guys and convince them that she's pregnant. It won't be too long before you find out that you've been played. So sad for you. I'm playing my tiny violin for you right now, dumbshit.
I'm beginning to wonder if her "fiance" is in on it. A nifty way to get money out of married guys, right? If so, he is a piece of shit as well. Enjoy your misery!
Found at: http://pittsburgh.craigslist.org/mis/2443422493.html
Thursday, July 21, 2011
To a missed connection I've never had... - m4w - 26
Date: 2011-07-20, 10:05AM EDT
Reply to: pers-wt4zk-2503667053@craigslist.org
I am often overwhelmed by this world. This happens anytime I pause and witness it pass by.
One such scenario that always gets me is when I'm waiting in a left turn lane at a busy intersection. I sit there... waiting. I see a mass of cars. I see four directions. I see cars go left. I see cars go right. I see cars go straight. I see cars go towards where I came from. Often those cars come the closest. They are turning left onto the road I just traveled. And so, for a moment as the turn and pass, our driver's seats are no more than 10 feet from one another. I can see their faces. I can see their eyes. And it all hits me like a brick wall: there is a whole life in every single one of all the cars in sight. And in many, there is more than one. And all those pair of eyes have witnessed so much in all their years.
And it is truly amazing to me. We all converge in this one place at this exact time. Our lives have led us all here at this very moment. And we're all ultimately headed down a different road- for reasons ranging from the mundane to the spectacular. One man if off to buy milk and eggs. One woman is off to cheat on her husband. One woman is off to see a movie. One man is off to see his dying father in the hospital. Who knows the truth. Only the people in their own seat and their own shoes. And we are so lost in those individual reasons, that we can forget everyone has their reasons. Everyone has their story. Everyone has their life.
And like when we arrive at that intersection, we're all brought together by a moment. . . any moment... every moment... moments with unfathomable potential. . . moments like right now. . . as the world goes round and round.
To think...
Somewhere, someone has been betrayed.
Somewhere, someone has been saved.
Somewhere, someone has walked into their last breath.
Somewhere, someone has stumbled into their first kiss.
Somewhere, someone has lost their will.
Somewhere, someone has found their hope.
Somewhere, someone has seen their sun set.
Somewhere, someone has felt their sun rise.
And everywhere, everyone woke up today like any other. That's what we have in common. We all live day to day, until the day we don't.
*****
I'm just a little person
One person in a sea
Of many little people
Who are not aware of me
And somewhere, maybe someday
Maybe somewhere far away
I'll find a second little person
Who will look at me and say
"I know you
You're the one I've waited for
Let's have some fun."
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2503667053.html
Reply to: pers-wt4zk-2503667053@craigslist.org
I am often overwhelmed by this world. This happens anytime I pause and witness it pass by.
One such scenario that always gets me is when I'm waiting in a left turn lane at a busy intersection. I sit there... waiting. I see a mass of cars. I see four directions. I see cars go left. I see cars go right. I see cars go straight. I see cars go towards where I came from. Often those cars come the closest. They are turning left onto the road I just traveled. And so, for a moment as the turn and pass, our driver's seats are no more than 10 feet from one another. I can see their faces. I can see their eyes. And it all hits me like a brick wall: there is a whole life in every single one of all the cars in sight. And in many, there is more than one. And all those pair of eyes have witnessed so much in all their years.
And it is truly amazing to me. We all converge in this one place at this exact time. Our lives have led us all here at this very moment. And we're all ultimately headed down a different road- for reasons ranging from the mundane to the spectacular. One man if off to buy milk and eggs. One woman is off to cheat on her husband. One woman is off to see a movie. One man is off to see his dying father in the hospital. Who knows the truth. Only the people in their own seat and their own shoes. And we are so lost in those individual reasons, that we can forget everyone has their reasons. Everyone has their story. Everyone has their life.
And like when we arrive at that intersection, we're all brought together by a moment. . . any moment... every moment... moments with unfathomable potential. . . moments like right now. . . as the world goes round and round.
To think...
Somewhere, someone has been betrayed.
Somewhere, someone has been saved.
Somewhere, someone has walked into their last breath.
Somewhere, someone has stumbled into their first kiss.
Somewhere, someone has lost their will.
Somewhere, someone has found their hope.
Somewhere, someone has seen their sun set.
Somewhere, someone has felt their sun rise.
And everywhere, everyone woke up today like any other. That's what we have in common. We all live day to day, until the day we don't.
*****
I'm just a little person
One person in a sea
Of many little people
Who are not aware of me
And somewhere, maybe someday
Maybe somewhere far away
I'll find a second little person
Who will look at me and say
"I know you
You're the one I've waited for
Let's have some fun."
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2503667053.html
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
To my secret friend:
Date: 2011-07-18, 11:33AM EDT
Reply to: pers-b2axy-2487919912@craigslist.org
And here's a piece of advice for anyone who might be reading this. If there's someone you love, just go for it. Twenty years down the road, people don't regret a missed opportunity at a job, or a place to live. They regret not going for the people they felt a connection with.
Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/mis/2487919912.html
Reply to: pers-b2axy-2487919912@craigslist.org
And here's a piece of advice for anyone who might be reading this. If there's someone you love, just go for it. Twenty years down the road, people don't regret a missed opportunity at a job, or a place to live. They regret not going for the people they felt a connection with.
Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/mis/2487919912.html
Murderer - m4w
Date: 2011-07-16, 12:43AM PDT
Reply to: pers-r9gjy-2496888641@craigslist.org
I am in shock. My face is red and hot, my hands sweaty and cold. Cold. Cold like your heart. You never were a gambler. You insult me with your presence on this planet. You cheat on me, break my heart, leave me and now we find out that you, you disgusting harlot of hell, you infected me with HIV. I had planned on having a life with you, but you couldn't stay away from oxy and what ever else you were injecting in to your corroded veins. May my last breath curse the day you were spawned from hell. You are a murderer.
Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/2496888641.html
Reply to: pers-r9gjy-2496888641@craigslist.org
I am in shock. My face is red and hot, my hands sweaty and cold. Cold. Cold like your heart. You never were a gambler. You insult me with your presence on this planet. You cheat on me, break my heart, leave me and now we find out that you, you disgusting harlot of hell, you infected me with HIV. I had planned on having a life with you, but you couldn't stay away from oxy and what ever else you were injecting in to your corroded veins. May my last breath curse the day you were spawned from hell. You are a murderer.
Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/2496888641.html
Saturday, May 7, 2011
you almost swept me off of my feet (by hitting me with your car - m4w - 25
Date: 2011-05-07, 6:56PM PDT
Reply to: pers-dcpsn-2368667077@craigslist.org
YOU:
a middle aged woman in an SUV who must have been tired from running through my dreams all night ..which would have explained why you weren't paying any attention and HIT ME WITH YOUR SUV
ME:
just an energetic pedestrian who enjoyed brisk jogs in well marked crosswalks until fate (assuming that your name is 'fate' in this story) HIT ME WITH HER SUV
WHEN:
at 9 o'clock in the morning on Friday the 6th. i'm sure that it was very hard to see with all of the blue skies above, but that didn't stop us from crossing paths ..WHEN YOU HIT ME WITH YOUR SUV
WHERE:
at the corner of 25th & I St Sacramento, CA or better known as the first time i saw heaven when looking into your eyes (or how i almost saw heaven after you HIT ME WITH YOU SUV)
THE STORY:
Basically I forgot to pay my rent before the fifth, which would of course not reflect on how I would take care of you day in and day out. I had placed a check in my wallet Thursday night (next to my magnum ‘just in case’ condom) and never turned it in. The next morning I freaked out and started running to my landlord in my vibram shoes (which provided absolutely no protection when you ran over my foot). While rounding the corner of 25th & Ist at 9am, I was continuing my jog inside the crosswalk when it felt like I got hit by a truck. Now here is the part of any usual romance novel where ‘getting hit by a truck’ is likened to the feeling of love but you had decided to take it one step further by actually HITTING ME WITH YOUR SUV
Now of course it was not my intention to get hit, and I thought that I had made that abundantly clear by staying within the painted crosswalk lines but I guess that we can work on our communication skills while spending the rest of our lives together. It was actually a pretty impressive trick that you had pulled off, pinning my left foot underneath your tire causing the rest of my body to slam into your tire and side paneling (how’s that for an M. Night Shyamalan style twist?!) I know that I saw you first and had even expected you to stop at the stop sign but you instead disregarded the normal street laws even proceeded to perform a California Roll. I take that back. You hardly tapped your brakes so much that I’d have to declare your move a Hawaiian Roll, that’s how calm, relaxed and aloof you were.
So there we were, two star crossed lovers interacting for the first time. You in your protected metal bubble and me in my possibly too revealing shorts. Thankfully you thought enough of me to pull over even though you seemed just the type to break my heart, or a bone or two if given the chance. Cut to me screaming out the usual lines when seeing someone of the opposite sex like ‘I can’t believe you just hit me with your car’ or ‘SERIOUSLY, I STILL can’t believe you just hit me with your car!!’ You come out with the big guns, hitting me with tears that could match Japan’s tsunami which melted my heart like the polar ice caps. Needless to say, the juices were flowing. Then out of nowhere a grey haired man approached the scene; an old boyfriend perhaps? I never did find out. Either way, he stuck his head in to the conversation like Punxsutawney Phil diving back into his hole after seeing his own shadow. Look, I know that the references here are getting over the top like a Sylvester Stalone movie but reliving the moment of when you HIT ME WITH YOUR SUV kind of has me on the edge of my seat all over again.
I was talking to you about children and our future ..like what if instead of HITTING ME WITH YOUR SUV, you had instead hit a small tyke riding his bike? You were sobbing and saying that you stopped, which I immediately shot down like a helicopter in Libya. I tried to be the type of man to command respect by saying something along the lines of ‘Stay right here, I need to do some man shit’ in the best Old Spice guy character I could manage. In reality I was just trying to drop off that late rent check half a block away to keep a house over my head so that I could provide for you and ours down the road. Instead you made like a tree and got outta there (by the way, I really like Back to the Future and hope you do too). I don’t know, maybe you had other plans with that ex boyfriend of yours. Ultimately you just reminded me that life can be like a teenage boy’s dick and get hard sometimes for no reason.
So we parted ways and I never got your name, number, insurance information, license plate or any other way of contacting you again. Thankfully I have a very sharp pain in my knee to remind me of our short time together which works out great while serving food at the popular restaurant that I work at (I can cook too!! Would have told you but we didn’t exactly get to that part of the conversation). I’m actually assuming that you have children yourself. Maybe from that previous relationship? Maybe you’re actually still married! With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I’m hoping that you actually come in to my restaurant so that we can reconnect. I won’t so much spit in your food as update the police report I had filed shortly after realizing that the possible love of my life had left.
Attached is a photo of me from that fateful day to help jog your memory. Oh hey, there’s that word ‘jog’ again. One that I will now associate with you HITTING ME WITH YOUR SUV
* Location: 25th & I st
Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/2368667077.html
Reply to: pers-dcpsn-2368667077@craigslist.org
YOU:
a middle aged woman in an SUV who must have been tired from running through my dreams all night ..which would have explained why you weren't paying any attention and HIT ME WITH YOUR SUV
ME:
just an energetic pedestrian who enjoyed brisk jogs in well marked crosswalks until fate (assuming that your name is 'fate' in this story) HIT ME WITH HER SUV
WHEN:
at 9 o'clock in the morning on Friday the 6th. i'm sure that it was very hard to see with all of the blue skies above, but that didn't stop us from crossing paths ..WHEN YOU HIT ME WITH YOUR SUV
WHERE:
at the corner of 25th & I St Sacramento, CA or better known as the first time i saw heaven when looking into your eyes (or how i almost saw heaven after you HIT ME WITH YOU SUV)
THE STORY:
Basically I forgot to pay my rent before the fifth, which would of course not reflect on how I would take care of you day in and day out. I had placed a check in my wallet Thursday night (next to my magnum ‘just in case’ condom) and never turned it in. The next morning I freaked out and started running to my landlord in my vibram shoes (which provided absolutely no protection when you ran over my foot). While rounding the corner of 25th & Ist at 9am, I was continuing my jog inside the crosswalk when it felt like I got hit by a truck. Now here is the part of any usual romance novel where ‘getting hit by a truck’ is likened to the feeling of love but you had decided to take it one step further by actually HITTING ME WITH YOUR SUV
Now of course it was not my intention to get hit, and I thought that I had made that abundantly clear by staying within the painted crosswalk lines but I guess that we can work on our communication skills while spending the rest of our lives together. It was actually a pretty impressive trick that you had pulled off, pinning my left foot underneath your tire causing the rest of my body to slam into your tire and side paneling (how’s that for an M. Night Shyamalan style twist?!) I know that I saw you first and had even expected you to stop at the stop sign but you instead disregarded the normal street laws even proceeded to perform a California Roll. I take that back. You hardly tapped your brakes so much that I’d have to declare your move a Hawaiian Roll, that’s how calm, relaxed and aloof you were.
So there we were, two star crossed lovers interacting for the first time. You in your protected metal bubble and me in my possibly too revealing shorts. Thankfully you thought enough of me to pull over even though you seemed just the type to break my heart, or a bone or two if given the chance. Cut to me screaming out the usual lines when seeing someone of the opposite sex like ‘I can’t believe you just hit me with your car’ or ‘SERIOUSLY, I STILL can’t believe you just hit me with your car!!’ You come out with the big guns, hitting me with tears that could match Japan’s tsunami which melted my heart like the polar ice caps. Needless to say, the juices were flowing. Then out of nowhere a grey haired man approached the scene; an old boyfriend perhaps? I never did find out. Either way, he stuck his head in to the conversation like Punxsutawney Phil diving back into his hole after seeing his own shadow. Look, I know that the references here are getting over the top like a Sylvester Stalone movie but reliving the moment of when you HIT ME WITH YOUR SUV kind of has me on the edge of my seat all over again.
I was talking to you about children and our future ..like what if instead of HITTING ME WITH YOUR SUV, you had instead hit a small tyke riding his bike? You were sobbing and saying that you stopped, which I immediately shot down like a helicopter in Libya. I tried to be the type of man to command respect by saying something along the lines of ‘Stay right here, I need to do some man shit’ in the best Old Spice guy character I could manage. In reality I was just trying to drop off that late rent check half a block away to keep a house over my head so that I could provide for you and ours down the road. Instead you made like a tree and got outta there (by the way, I really like Back to the Future and hope you do too). I don’t know, maybe you had other plans with that ex boyfriend of yours. Ultimately you just reminded me that life can be like a teenage boy’s dick and get hard sometimes for no reason.
So we parted ways and I never got your name, number, insurance information, license plate or any other way of contacting you again. Thankfully I have a very sharp pain in my knee to remind me of our short time together which works out great while serving food at the popular restaurant that I work at (I can cook too!! Would have told you but we didn’t exactly get to that part of the conversation). I’m actually assuming that you have children yourself. Maybe from that previous relationship? Maybe you’re actually still married! With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I’m hoping that you actually come in to my restaurant so that we can reconnect. I won’t so much spit in your food as update the police report I had filed shortly after realizing that the possible love of my life had left.
Attached is a photo of me from that fateful day to help jog your memory. Oh hey, there’s that word ‘jog’ again. One that I will now associate with you HITTING ME WITH YOUR SUV
* Location: 25th & I st
Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/2368667077.html
Slava...
Date: 2011-05-06, 2:44PM EDT
Reply to: pers-96pp4-2366244430@craigslist.org
You have my heart and won't give it back :'(...Why do i love you so much? I'm dating and happy but yet somehow, I think about you. We had something special and i miss it! I'm sorry for being a jerk. Pretty please forgive me???
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2366244430.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Slava - m4w
Date: 2011-05-06, 10:10PM EDT
Reply to: pers-jdscm-2367030986@craigslist.org
Anyone can date and be happy. Some people are compatible. It is the magic that makes the difference. That is why half the population fails after 10 years. If you do not have the magic it is just happy and dating. Or, happy and together. It does not mean that you truly would never walk away from that person. That is the difference between magic and just tolerant. If you've felt it you know what I am talking about. If not I would say keep trying. You get one or two chances in life to have that feeling. After that you are just another statistic.
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2367030986.html
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The magic stuff.. - w4m
Date: 2011-05-06, 11:29PM EDT
Reply to: pers-3pbvs-2367116210@craigslist.org
“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing”
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2367116210.html
Reply to: pers-96pp4-2366244430@craigslist.org
You have my heart and won't give it back :'(...Why do i love you so much? I'm dating and happy but yet somehow, I think about you. We had something special and i miss it! I'm sorry for being a jerk. Pretty please forgive me???
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2366244430.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Slava - m4w
Date: 2011-05-06, 10:10PM EDT
Reply to: pers-jdscm-2367030986@craigslist.org
Anyone can date and be happy. Some people are compatible. It is the magic that makes the difference. That is why half the population fails after 10 years. If you do not have the magic it is just happy and dating. Or, happy and together. It does not mean that you truly would never walk away from that person. That is the difference between magic and just tolerant. If you've felt it you know what I am talking about. If not I would say keep trying. You get one or two chances in life to have that feeling. After that you are just another statistic.
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2367030986.html
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The magic stuff.. - w4m
Date: 2011-05-06, 11:29PM EDT
Reply to: pers-3pbvs-2367116210@craigslist.org
“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing”
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2367116210.html
Thursday, May 5, 2011
My fortune cookie came true - m4w - 51
Date: 2011-05-04, 6:42PM EDT
Reply to:
My fortune cookie should've said, "You will spend the afternoon with a beautiful woman whose kisses taste like truth. She has life to give, so count her as a blessing."
Thank you for the conversation, discovering what a tongue stud feels like against my teeth, and for not making fun of the boner.
* Location: Chinatown
Found at: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mis/2362903583.html
Reply to:
My fortune cookie should've said, "You will spend the afternoon with a beautiful woman whose kisses taste like truth. She has life to give, so count her as a blessing."
Thank you for the conversation, discovering what a tongue stud feels like against my teeth, and for not making fun of the boner.
* Location: Chinatown
Found at: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mis/2362903583.html
Twisted
Date: 2011-05-02, 11:51PM PDT
Reply to: pers-ds4cr-2359499097@craigslist.org
You loved me. Who put the doubt in me again? Glad to know how you take care of your loved-ones.
Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/2359499097.html
Reply to: pers-ds4cr-2359499097@craigslist.org
You loved me. Who put the doubt in me again? Glad to know how you take care of your loved-ones.
Found at: http://sacramento.craigslist.org/mis/2359499097.html
to the girls' softball coach - w4m (red/blue)
Date: 2011-05-04, 8:19PM PDT
Reply to: pers-3cyet-2363319958@craigslist.org
What is a woman to do with you?
Guess you will have to wait until my divorce is final,
then maybe I will have the courage to ask you out.
Maybe. I truly am a shy person you see.
We have known each other for some time,
but don't know if you have thought about me
as I have of you.
Only time will tell, but just wanted you to know
whether anything happens between us or not,
You are an amazing man.
Location: red/blue
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/mis/2363319958.html
Reply to: pers-3cyet-2363319958@craigslist.org
What is a woman to do with you?
Guess you will have to wait until my divorce is final,
then maybe I will have the courage to ask you out.
Maybe. I truly am a shy person you see.
We have known each other for some time,
but don't know if you have thought about me
as I have of you.
Only time will tell, but just wanted you to know
whether anything happens between us or not,
You are an amazing man.
Location: red/blue
Found at: http://reno.craigslist.org/mis/2363319958.html
Saturday, April 30, 2011
I never doubted
Date: 2011-04-30, 3:28PM PDT
Reply to: pers-dj4jn-2355495114@craigslist.org
that you loved me, but I'd never desire a man who put another woman above me.)
Found at: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/mis/2355495114.html
Reply to: pers-dj4jn-2355495114@craigslist.org
that you loved me, but I'd never desire a man who put another woman above me.)
Found at: http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/mis/2355495114.html
Sunday, April 3, 2011
I've Decided.... - 20
Date: 2011-04-02, 10:55PM EDT
Reply to: pers-tx3m7-2302194237@craigslist.org
....to stop being scared and take a chance!! :D
Found at: http://richmond.craigslist.org/mis/2302194237.html
Reply to: pers-tx3m7-2302194237@craigslist.org
....to stop being scared and take a chance!! :D
Found at: http://richmond.craigslist.org/mis/2302194237.html
You...
Date: 2011-04-03, 12:51AM EDT
Reply to: pers-ykbkc-2302290070@craigslist.org
posted here in Boston for me once, and we aren't anywhere close to here. We just keep looking in the same place. I found it sitting there, read it and knew it was you from the details and the reply you sent to me. The same way you found me the first time, I found you the second. Who are we kidding?
You are the one. I'm ready.
Forgive me for the past year, and give up that stubborn pride of yours and make it easier on both of us.
Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/mis/2302290070.html
Reply to: pers-ykbkc-2302290070@craigslist.org
posted here in Boston for me once, and we aren't anywhere close to here. We just keep looking in the same place. I found it sitting there, read it and knew it was you from the details and the reply you sent to me. The same way you found me the first time, I found you the second. Who are we kidding?
You are the one. I'm ready.
Forgive me for the past year, and give up that stubborn pride of yours and make it easier on both of us.
Found at: http://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/mis/2302290070.html
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday the 13th
Date: 2011-02-14, 1:22PM PST
Reply to: pers-4v6wh-2214526387@craigslist.org
I hate when February doesnt have friday the 13th
The one day i need everyday
the sky isnt right without my star
May is too far away , i wish today was the 13th
Id tell you id spend my life and grow old together with you all over again
How could you be happy without me .....
/watch?v=88sJpXjSOsI
I love you your friend .....................
Found at: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/mis/2214526387.html
Reply to: pers-4v6wh-2214526387@craigslist.org
I hate when February doesnt have friday the 13th
The one day i need everyday
the sky isnt right without my star
May is too far away , i wish today was the 13th
Id tell you id spend my life and grow old together with you all over again
How could you be happy without me .....
/watch?v=88sJpXjSOsI
I love you your friend .....................
Found at: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/mis/2214526387.html
Friday, January 28, 2011
and there you were.... - m4w
Date: 2011-01-24, 2:00PM EST
Reply to: pers-bgpge-2177137941@craigslist.org
Backed up with 50 thousand other cars on I-85, I noticed you, 367 cars back coming off the I-285 fly over ramp.....while some may consider you a "plain jane"...to me you are BEAUTIFUL, sincere, loving and caring.....as I adjusted my rear view mirror for a better look, I noticed you are a mature women, approximately 47 years young and very fit....a person who takes care of herself and those she loves....a best friend, a believer...vibrant, funny and adventurous....I frantically began dropping numerous "reeces pieces" out the window in hopes that you would follow me......your "soulmate" ....but the conjestion of traffic was so thick, so consuming...it seemed impossible.....but is it really? I am waiting....wondering and hoping.....send soon....me 8)
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/mis/2177137941.html
Reply to: pers-bgpge-2177137941@craigslist.org
Backed up with 50 thousand other cars on I-85, I noticed you, 367 cars back coming off the I-285 fly over ramp.....while some may consider you a "plain jane"...to me you are BEAUTIFUL, sincere, loving and caring.....as I adjusted my rear view mirror for a better look, I noticed you are a mature women, approximately 47 years young and very fit....a person who takes care of herself and those she loves....a best friend, a believer...vibrant, funny and adventurous....I frantically began dropping numerous "reeces pieces" out the window in hopes that you would follow me......your "soulmate" ....but the conjestion of traffic was so thick, so consuming...it seemed impossible.....but is it really? I am waiting....wondering and hoping.....send soon....me 8)
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/mis/2177137941.html
The lights inside my cave
Date: 2011-01-26, 12:04PM EST
Reply to: pers-ea7kz-2181173875@craigslist.org
Preparation + Opportunity = Luck
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2181173875.html
Reply to: pers-ea7kz-2181173875@craigslist.org
Preparation + Opportunity = Luck
Found at: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/mis/2181173875.html
Friday, December 24, 2010
Lefty Jane (Lao Tzu, Gandhi & Me)
Date: 2010-12-09, 4:34PM EST
Reply to: pers-pxmfd-2103152816@craigslist.org
Years ago ~ I was in a bar in Laguna Beach when a fair-skinned girl in her twenties walked in and started going table to table trying to sell her very childlike crayon drawings.
Five bucks a piece.
I’m ashamed to say that I had a laugh ~ I made fun of her and her drawings. The bartender was kind enough to set me straight.
This girl, Jane, was in a horrible car accident and suffered brain damage. She didn’t want to be a burden to her parents or the state. So, she decided to make her own way in the world.
Selling these drawings was how she supported herself.
I was taken aback.
I was moved.
I was ashamed.
I mean, whatever problems I thought I had were nothing compared to Jane’s. She had brain damage and still didn’t fold ~ she figured out a way to keep moving.
This should be a lesson for anyone that thinks they have it tough or can’t see a way to make ends meet.
I think of Jane every now and again. Even though, it’s been well over a decade since I’ve seen her ~ she had a profound impact on me.
A lasting profound impact.
I’ve shared Lefty Jane’s drawings and story many times over the years. It wasn’t until five years in that I realized her name was really Jane Letty. She signs her drawings LETTY JANE.
I thought the T was an F.
Anyway, I will be keeping Jane’s drawings as one of my 100 things. It will serve as a poignant reminder when things get rough or if I think I can’t take my boss anymore ~ to just take a deep breath and remember that if Jane can make it, so can I.
There is always a way.
Always.
I purchased several drawings from Jane that day. My favorite is still the one of Jesus with the wetsuits.
I wonder how Jane is doing today. Is she still daring to move? I like to think so. I really do. Because, if she can ~ for fuck’s sake, so can I.
So, if you are ever in Laguna Beach and have the pleasure of meeting Jane ~ please, take the time to show her the kindness of strangers.
And, even if you never have the chance to meet her ~ you can still think of her whenever life seems like a little too much to bear. And, you can dare yourself to move just like Jane did ~ because if she can do it with all the cards stacked against her ~ you sure the hell have no excuse not to do the same.
The gift that Jane gave me ~ the important life lesson I learned from her was that every obstacle is an opportunity ~ an opportunity that you just haven’t recognized yet. And, the secret to overcoming every obstacle is in knowing that if you keep moving toward it instead of away, the opportunity will come into focus.
And, when it does ~ you will have the wherewithal to take full advantage of it. Since you didn’t expend all of your energy focusing on the door that just closed ~ you will have the strength to walk through the door that just opened.
That’s the thing about opportunities and challenges ~ nothing happens until you show up.
Thank you ~ Jane Letty ~ for teaching me this.
And, now I’m wondering ~ could her name be Letty Jane instead of Jane Letty?
Fuck.
IMAGE: “Fishes” by Jane Letty, 1996
www.MyLotsaStuff.com
* Location: Lao Tzu, Gandhi & Me
Found at: http://sydney.craigslist.com.au/rnr/2103152816.html
Reply to: pers-pxmfd-2103152816@craigslist.org
Years ago ~ I was in a bar in Laguna Beach when a fair-skinned girl in her twenties walked in and started going table to table trying to sell her very childlike crayon drawings.
Five bucks a piece.
I’m ashamed to say that I had a laugh ~ I made fun of her and her drawings. The bartender was kind enough to set me straight.
This girl, Jane, was in a horrible car accident and suffered brain damage. She didn’t want to be a burden to her parents or the state. So, she decided to make her own way in the world.
Selling these drawings was how she supported herself.
I was taken aback.
I was moved.
I was ashamed.
I mean, whatever problems I thought I had were nothing compared to Jane’s. She had brain damage and still didn’t fold ~ she figured out a way to keep moving.
This should be a lesson for anyone that thinks they have it tough or can’t see a way to make ends meet.
I think of Jane every now and again. Even though, it’s been well over a decade since I’ve seen her ~ she had a profound impact on me.
A lasting profound impact.
I’ve shared Lefty Jane’s drawings and story many times over the years. It wasn’t until five years in that I realized her name was really Jane Letty. She signs her drawings LETTY JANE.
I thought the T was an F.
Anyway, I will be keeping Jane’s drawings as one of my 100 things. It will serve as a poignant reminder when things get rough or if I think I can’t take my boss anymore ~ to just take a deep breath and remember that if Jane can make it, so can I.
There is always a way.
Always.
I purchased several drawings from Jane that day. My favorite is still the one of Jesus with the wetsuits.
I wonder how Jane is doing today. Is she still daring to move? I like to think so. I really do. Because, if she can ~ for fuck’s sake, so can I.
So, if you are ever in Laguna Beach and have the pleasure of meeting Jane ~ please, take the time to show her the kindness of strangers.
And, even if you never have the chance to meet her ~ you can still think of her whenever life seems like a little too much to bear. And, you can dare yourself to move just like Jane did ~ because if she can do it with all the cards stacked against her ~ you sure the hell have no excuse not to do the same.
The gift that Jane gave me ~ the important life lesson I learned from her was that every obstacle is an opportunity ~ an opportunity that you just haven’t recognized yet. And, the secret to overcoming every obstacle is in knowing that if you keep moving toward it instead of away, the opportunity will come into focus.
And, when it does ~ you will have the wherewithal to take full advantage of it. Since you didn’t expend all of your energy focusing on the door that just closed ~ you will have the strength to walk through the door that just opened.
That’s the thing about opportunities and challenges ~ nothing happens until you show up.
Thank you ~ Jane Letty ~ for teaching me this.
And, now I’m wondering ~ could her name be Letty Jane instead of Jane Letty?
Fuck.
IMAGE: “Fishes” by Jane Letty, 1996
www.MyLotsaStuff.com
* Location: Lao Tzu, Gandhi & Me
Found at: http://sydney.craigslist.com.au/rnr/2103152816.html
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